“If we all row … we will climb the mountains …”

General

I saw this in a corporate announcement.

Problem:
The writer mixed metaphors.

Explanation:
The full sentence was “If we all row in the same directions, we will ultimately climb the mountains and be successful.”

Beyond this conditional sentence’s use of the plural “directions” where the singular “direction” was required (as discussed in yesterday’s post), there is a problem with the “If” clause matching the implied-“then” clause.

Given the target audience, I doubt that the writer was referring to some sort of extreme adventure such as uphill kayaking.

So it makes no sense to the average reader to climb a mountain by rowing.

The solution comes from making a water-related reference (e.g., to a lake) in the implied-“then” clause.

Solution:
“If we all row … we will cross the lake …”