Common English Blunders

“Please wait for the host to be seated.”

Common English Blunders

I saw this on a sign in a restaurant.

Problem:
This imperative implies that the reader will not be served until the host is seated.

Explanation:
To appreciate the problem, let’s think a second time about this imperative.

“Please wait for some event.” is the template for this imperative, in which “the host to be seated” is “some event”.

However, the sign writer does not want simply to tell the sign reader to wait for a “the host to be seated” event. The sign reader would not know why he must wait, and waiting until the host has sat down would not make sense.

After all, a host usually stands, often greets restaurant patrons, sometimes walk the patrons to their dining tables, and continues to stand after returning to the lobby of the restaurant. In other words, patrons waiting until a host has sat down would make no sense; restaurant hosts usually stand throughout their work shifts!

Instead, the sign writer wants to tell the sign reader to wait until the restaurant host helps him instead of the sign reader seating himself at a dining table in the restaurant. The host is in charge of walking restaurant patron to dining tables; patrons may not seat themselves.

Solution:
“Please wait to be seated by the host.”

“Flammable” vs. “Inflammable” vs. “Nonflammable”

Adjectives, Common English Blunders, Outsider's Perspective

I sometimes hear “inflammable” when people mean “nonflammable”.

Problem:
The adjective “inflammable” is synonymous with the adjective “flammable”, not the adjective “nonflammable”.

Explanation:
There is a funny scene in an episode of “The Simpsons” in which Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, the cartoon character whose first language is NOT English, says, “Flammable. Inflammable. I don’t understand this language.”

The primary definition of the adjective “flammable” is combustible.

The primary definition of the adjective “inflammable” is combustible.

The primary definition of the adjective “nonflammable” is not combustible.

In other words, “inflammable” is synonymous with “flammable”. The typical distinction in usage of these two adjectives is that “flammable” is usually applied to physical things (e.g., “flammable gas tank”) whereas “inflammable” is usually applied figuratively (e.g., “inflammable feelings of the dissatisfied constituents”).

The misuse of “inflammable” as a synonym for “nonflammable” apparently comes from the mistaken belief that the prefix “in” in “inflammable” means not. The correct meaning of the prefix “in” in “inflammable” is in.

A simple way to remember that “inflammable” means combustible instead of not combustible is to remember the verb from which “inflammable” is constructed: “inflame”.

Solution:
Use “nonflammable” when you’re talking about something that is not combustible. Use “flammable” or “inflammable” when you’re talking about something that is combustible. For more refined usage, use “flammable” for literal things (such as cars or boats) and “inflammable” for figurative things (such as emotions).

“Imply” vs. “Infer”

Common English Blunders, Devolution toward Simpler, Verbs, Versus

I often hear “infer” when people mean “imply”.

Problem:
The verbs “imply” and “infer” are not synonyms!

Explanation:
The primary definition of the verb “imply” is convey or suggest without stating outright.

The primary definition of the verb “infer” is draw conclusions that are not explicit in what is stated.

In other words, “imply” is what the speaker or writer does, whereas “infer” is what the listener or reader does.

Many will use “infer” when what they mean is “imply”. I believe that this is consistent with my “Devolution toward Simpler” linguistic hypothesis. The verb “infer” is simpler to say than is the verb “imply”. In particular, it’s simpler to follow the “n” sound with an “f” sound than it is to follow an “m” sound with a “pl” sound. (Try it!) Plus, it’s simpler to speak a word that ends with “er” than it is to speak a word that ends with “y” (which has to be held longer than “er”).

Solution:
Use “imply” when you’re talking about suggesting without writing (or speaking) outright. Use “infer” when you’re talking about reading (or hearing) more than what is written (or spoken).